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I Feel Your Pain

Other than an empty mailbox, perhaps the most frightening sight for a freelance writer is the blank page. Its terrors have driven many of our brethren to strong drink, greatness, or both.

Sometimes I even hate finishing a page because I know another one is waiting, its vastness daring me to fill it with my puny thoughts, meager vocabulary and--by the way--how could anything I produce ever be worthy of the writers who have gone before me? I used to make "C's" in high school English!

And so goes the constant babble of recrimination spewed by the monster of self-doubt lurking behind every blank page, which often becomes a mirror for our deepest insecurities.

The Monster's Source 
The source of the monster's power is not merely the risk of humiliation we take every time we write, when we reveal parts of ourselves as personal as our underwear.

There's also the mystery of the creative act. Although humans have explored deep space and the mysteries of DNA, we still know frighteningly little about creativity except that some of us have more of it than others, and that if we study our craft and work real hard maybe, just maybe, the magic will happen--but maybe not.

It's that possibility of not measuring up, of Monster Doubt's voice drowning out our own, that makes some of us write not at all, others of us less than we would like, and many of us at a lower level than we could if sitting down and doing it were not so anxiety-ridden, so unpleasant, so frightening.

I Am Not Worthy 
When I left my job as a college professor of writing in order to freelance full time, I was forced to deal seriously and quickly with these issues of self-doubt and procrastination. I developed a technique I call "block writing" that helped me overcome three common mistakes that self-doubting writers make, especially when the writing clock strikes high noon and it's time to create a first draft.


3 Mistakes Writers Make

Mistake #1: Writing Too Slowly 
Ever watch a painter or sculptor work? They don't pause after each brushstroke or chisel strike. But I know writers who cannot pen more than a sentence without stopping to reread and revise it, as if perfect prose should flow from them like birdsong and the final product should take shape sentence by perfect sentence.

Au contraire.

On a first draft, the writer must probe the soft underbelly of thought where words and vision, form and intuition come together. Taking that inward journey means a commitment to writing in an uncensored way, and that usually means writing quickly and without stopping. By writing quickly, we finally silence the critical monitor, the little devil who sits on our shoulder interrupting the creative process: "Is that the best word?" "This is probably a dead end." "What's a better way to phrase that?" "Will my professor think that's stupid?" The devil gets his turn in the revision and polishing stages, not now.

Writing quickly also gets us in sync with our internal voice, which gives writing its authenticity and resonance. The bottom line is that there is a time to create and a time to evaluate. Although both are legitimate parts of writing, they are best done at separate times.

Mistake #2: Not distinguishing between the fear of failure and the possibility of failure 
It amazes me that every time I sit down to write, I still get that panicky fear in my gut that makes me want to wash dishes, sharpen pencils and walk the cat--anything to procrastinate. I still have to remind myself of the important difference between the fear of failure and the likelihood of failure.

Rooted in psychological insecurity, fear of failure often has little connection to its actual possibility. The reality is that if I've done good research, know the format and audience I'm writing for, and I am willing to put in the time, then failure is unlikely. Although I've learned to accept my irrational fear of failure as a part of my writing personality, even to welcome it because it makes me try harder and keeps me humble, I've also learned to trust reality: I recall all the other times I've sat down to perform this same act and been successful. Why should it be any different this time? The strong likelihood is, I tell myself, it won't be.

Mistake #3: Focusing on the final product 
While riding horses and occasionally teaching writing at the University of Virginia, William Faulkner talked of the difference between "those who want to write and those who want only to have written." I think he meant that--rather than focusing on the ego or monetary by-products of our work--we are better off focusing on the challenges of writing, the potential it offers us for personal growth and learning, and the satisfaction of creating something.

Books and articles and business reports are mere things. Their completion offers only momentary fulfillment. In the end they will be read by few, remembered by fewer. What's left to sustain us? The doing.

Over the years, I've found that block writing has taught me these four simple but important lessons, without which I don't think I could make a living doing this:

1. To write, no matter my mood or level of fear

2. To focus on discrete steps and problems as they arrive in predictable sequence, not on the final product

3. To keep my head down and butt in chair, ignoring the long, arduous road I must travel to produce final copy

4. To derive primary satisfaction from the actual process of creating, not its outcome. While I always hope that the final product will be one of my best, I know that there will always be successes and failures and things in between, but the satisfaction and joy of my craft will never abandon me.

How To Block Write

To begin block writing you need a timer, preferably with an alarm. When writing a first draft, I use the timer to divide my writing day into 45-minute to 1-hour blocks, each followed by a 10-minute break.

The goal is simple: to sit derriere in chair and not get up for 1 hour. Eventually, doing this will become automatic. You'll have to give it no more thought than you do to brushing your teeth. You just do it without the complaining, the hesitation, the extra push of will.

Know This 
Tell yourself: If I sit down for enough 1-hour blocks, eventually the work WILL get done. To paraphrase Woody Allen, "80% of writing success is just showing up."

Avoid heavy commitments like, "Each block I will produce two pages of copy."

Bull-dookey.

It doesn't work that way. You never know what's going to happen once you sit down. You could produce 20 pages or 2 or none at all. Each outcome will have occurred for a legitimate reason.

All you do know is this: put in enough time in the chair and eventually it will get done.

Three More Things You Really Need

  • Freedom. In the drafting stage, the actual writing during your blocks should be as non-stop and "free" as possible. Never think about any rules of writing or stop for critical evaluation. They both come later.
  • Commitment. Like any regimen, whether a weight-loss diet, exercise program or good dental hygiene, block writing will work only if you give yourself to it and play by the rules. That means that no matter how much you dread writing that day, no matter how unprepared or tired you feel, no matter how scared of failure you may be, no matter how sleepy you are, the simple act of putting derriere in chair and starting the timer becomes the most important thing you can do to ensure your eventual success. It means you are acquiring a writer's discipline.
  • Trust. You must know and believe that during each 1-hour period something will get done. Even an hour of false starts is important. Sometimes you have to write stuff you won't use in order to get to stuff you will, or say things the wrong way in order to find the right way. But most of all you must trust that if you simply sit down for your time in the harness, block after block, eventually the work will get done. Trust: at the end of each 1-hour period, you are always one block closer to success.

 Assignment:

1. Provide a definition in your own words of "block writing" and how it may be useful in your writing process for school and the workplace.

2. Of the three major mistakes listed above and "Three More Things You Really Need," which one has the most significant impact on your writing and what strategies might help you make progress in this area?